Monday, October 25, 2010

You know what this blog needs....


Ive included some very off the cuff recipes in previous post, but I will try to get better at including actual recipes with suggestions. Okay?

Im not a recipe perosn per ce. When Im experimenting in the kitchen I literally add a dash of this and that until it taste right and i usually dont know how much precisely, but I will make a concerted effort for any novice cooks or novice veg lovers reading this. Is anyone actually reading this? :-)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Secret Weapon #5 Popcorn and #6 Naughty day!!!

#5 is Popcorn! With a chaser of ice water! Its salty, full of fiber (but who cares about that healthy stuff) and its super filling. It can kill cravings by filling you up. If you feel full you are less likely to indulge.

It's also got the same satisfying crunch as those potato chips you are craving.

But Im not talking about just any popcorn. Im talking about gourmet popcorn. And as we all know "gourmet" is just a fancy sounding word that means "throw some flavor on that sucker and charge an arm and a leg for it". Except in this case you will be doing the gourmeting and actually save yourself some money. Heres how:

Step 1: Drive yourself to the store. Unless you are a licenceless loser like me, then go catch the bus...loser!

Step 2: Buy popcorn kernels. (bulk is cheaper of course Take your own container and score points with everyone who cares)

Step 3: Return home. (Did you really need this step? It's okay if you did. I will still be your fake virtual friend. No I won't.)

Step 4: Go in you house.

Step 5: Lock the door behind yourself. You dont want anyone walking in on your Gourmeting. People are very judgmental.

Step 6: Find a pot that has a matching lid. If you do not own one go sit on the couch and ponder why you are so lame and do not own a pot with a lid.

Step 7: Add enough oil to coat the bottom of the pot and then pour in enough popcorn to coat the bottom of the pot in a single layer.

Step 8: Turn on the burner under the pot. If you are a child go get an adult to help you with this step. If you are a child why are you reading this?

Step 9: When the first kernel pops put the lid on and wait for popping to slow.

Step 10: Turn off the heat. Sprinkle an awesome seasoning on your popcorn and devour it before someone comes home and asks to taste it.

Some seasoning combinations that dont make me gag:

- Powdered barbeque seasoning (for when i want bbq potato chips)

- Nutritional Yeast and Sea Salt (reminiscent of cheesy popcorn)

- Sea Salt and Rosemary (...mmmm...classy..)

#6 is naughty day! Ironically my suggested naughty day is also the 6th day of the week Saturday (depending on where you live). For some reason it seems to be the universal day for our bodies to behave like toddlers and demand food that no reasonable person should really consume. But we are trained from an early age to desire naughty foods even when vegan we cannot excape them. So on this 6th day take a rest from your good eating behavior and have that (veggie)burger, fries, (soy)milkshake or whatever processsed ot high calorie food you want, but dont go crazy because you stomach will make you pay for this day that is supposed to be a treat day not a "my stomach hates me" day. And try to balance the naughty foods with good for you ones. Okay?

Naughty day is also a great day to not cook. Go to your favorite restaurant that offers a veg menu item that you know isnt the healthiest but gives you the warm fuzzies. Or go buy that microwave dinner or tater tots.

Possible cheat day menu:

Breakfast: Pancakes, tofu scramble with lots of fake chedder cheese, fruit salad, home fries, green tea

Lunch: Loaded veggie burger, mound of fries, 1/2 pint coconut milk ice cream

Dinner: Large vegan cheese pizza loaded with veggies, more fries please

Dessert: tiramisu, chocolate cake, ice cream, you pick!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Secret Weapon #4

In case you havent realized it yet, other than the first secret weapon these arent really ranked in order of importance. They are simply in the order I feel in the mood to share them. That said....

Secret Weapon #4: Pilates

And no I am not claiming Pilates is the miracle slimmer that will take you from a size 14 to a size 4 in 4 weeks. I like the number 4, dont you? Anyhoo, it does wonders as far as keeping you limber (i.e. less workout injuries or kinks in the neck from sleeping).

It is also a great stress reliever, which helps with the sleep area as well as the stress-based overeating. And apparently they have proved it in the lab that people with high levels of stress retain weight. Something about a creepy substance called Cortisol. This is not an educational blog so go google it for yourself.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Secret Weapon #3

Hips Replacement. No not the literal surgery. So do not go telling your real life friends (or your imaginary ones) that you read a blog today by a crazy lady who suggested surgery to lose weight. That doesnt make sense in my mind (especially since hip replacements are made of metal so that would make you gain weight..duh!).

So, now that that's out of the way let's focus on what I do mean: Replace those foods that are adding weight to your frame and replacing your womanly curves(hips) with unsightly fat deposits (HHIIPPSS aka hippo hips).

Another name for this is craving replacement. When you crave something naughty try to find something that will fill the craving without throwing your body into a junk food tailspin. The replacement should be similar in taste or texture or you will just keep craving that thing.

Some examples:

-When I am craving potato chips I have a baked potato topped with veggies and hummus. Its filling and really hits the spot. But if that is too healthy I will slice a raw potato into wedges, rub it with olive oil and bake it 25 minutes at 400 degrees.

-When I am craving ice cream I have banana based soft serve. This is basically a frozen banana (or two) blended with fruit or cocoa powder depending on what kind of ice cream im craving. A yummy combination: 1 or 2 frozen banana 2 teaspoon cinnamon(a cinamon based spice blend is even better) 1/4cup coconut milk (the creamy canned stuff)

-Craving something fried? Oven fry it and save loads of calories. Use panko bread crumbs in the coating to help simulate the crunch of fried food.

-Craving something sweet and decadent? Have a baked sweet potato with a heaping tablespoon of almond butter and a healthy drizzle of agave. This taste really naughty, but every ingredient works with your body instead of against it. More on that later.

Secret Weapon #3.5:

This secret only works if your overeating results from compensation (there is something else you want so you eat instead). Are you ready for it? Are you sure? Are you sitting down? I hope so because my insurance will not cover you for any injuries incurred while reading this blog. That was my disclaimer. This is the secret: fall in love. I was doing pretty good with portion control, but then I fell in love and completely lost my appetite.

You do not neccessarily have to fall in love with a human. You can fall in love with a designer dress that you will only fit into if you lose weight. That is a wonderful motivation if you can afford it. I, however, am rather poor and so was forced to fall in love with a human being because that is a free endeavor.

Let me know how that works for you....

Disclaimer: On the odd chance that the fella I love actually reads this I'd just like to clarify that I would love him even if I was rich cause im just that kinda dame. And he's just that amazing! winkety wink wink!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Where have you been? Secret Weapon#2

I have been in the land of the Silently Going Crazy. Well maybe not so silently!

Good news first: My official weight loss is 30lbs! That is an amazing amount of weight, but I am not done yet. I have about 15 more until I think I will be comfortable. In 10 lbs I will have a healthy BMI, but I would like a 5 lbs cushion for the occasional emotional eating or recipe testing.

That's right dear readers! Being the brilliant creative lady that I am, I have decided to create a cookbook right in the middle of a weight loss adventure...Wait maybe that is not a good idea at

This is actually a very good thing as it is a test of my willpower and creativity in creating recipes that are good for your whole body and not just your taste buds.

Secret Weapon #2:
Agave Syrup is delicious and sweet and doesnt cause those nasty blood sugar spikes that make you want to clean out your refrigerator after you have dessert.

It's also all natural and derived from the Agave plant so no scary after taste or unknown side effects. Yay!

Well that all and good, you are saying to yourself, but how do i use it? I was getting to that. Patience darling!

Agave is great as a substitute for honey, maple syrup, and brown sugar. Well I should say the way I used those sweetners. So, I love it on pancakes and crepes and in my tea and oatmeal or cream of wheat and especially over a sweet potato(add some almond butter and you will need to leave me alone with my potato, but more on that later in secret weapon #3).